My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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