p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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