Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
