Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
