: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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