she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
