i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
