even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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