Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
