Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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