That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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