Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The air was thick with penises
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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