he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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