he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
