i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
