My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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