I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
