NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Randomize
