I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
