I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize