He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
