Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How does it feel to date your dad?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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