My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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