We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
