1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Boobs speak an international language.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
