somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
