Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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