wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
