you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
