I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
