Dual....:-)
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
