Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
