i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
