You can't special order awesome
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
