Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
