please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
