batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
