my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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