i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
