WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
