So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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