I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
