we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
