is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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