my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
