And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
