The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
