Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
