Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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