used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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