Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
either way he was missing a nipple.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
