32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
