so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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