girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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