allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
